31. JANUARY-DECEMBER 2011: TOURING THE AMERICAS

We’re supposed to be and suddenly there’s silence. I don’t think it’s gonna happen. Figuring February is weeks away and I’ve yet to see a single confirmed date. It’s the kind of thing where you have a tour that’s coming together, but it’s so complicated at this level with managers and booking agents and different promoters and venues and itinerary and the production. The manager has to figure out how to get the gear from point A to point B all the time, without us going broke, and making sure all the crew is available.

With everything, all it takes is just one link in the chain to get weak and everything unravels. So, I don’t know what the status is of this U.S. tour that I’ve been impatiently waiting for. It’s been five years since we’ve played the U.S. Last year we did some acoustic shows in New York in February, but as far as a real tour, we haven’t done that. A couple of shows in May and September of 2006 and then a fall tour from October to December.

You know I really can’t say because there’s nothing to tell. It’s frustrating for me because there is nothing to tell about the future of G’N’R because it changes minute to minute. [...] I mean shit! We are supposed to tour the US in February and it’s the end of January and no one has even like…. yeah. You can’t make plans. You cannot make any plans when dealing with Guns N’ Roses. Things are just going to happen and they are not going to happen when you think that they are going to happen. That’s just how it is and it can’t be controlled, it can’t be changed. This is just how it is in G’N’R world. And you just roll with it and say “alright”. We were going to tour and then now we are not. It will happen when it is going to happen, and it does. It’s not the kind of thing where… Like if you ask me about my stuff, I can tell you all kinds of plans for the future and what’s going to happen. If you ask about G’N’R, it’s all a big question mark and it really is. It’s not like anything is being hidden, it’s just that nothing can be predicted (big laugh). It’s a weird fucking thing man! (big laugh again)

Right now we're headlining Rock In Rio in October. I'd love to do more dates later this year. Getting everybody – the band, the crew, the whole production – down there to do one show is a pretty big deal, so it'd be cool to do more shows. But I have to wait and see what everybody says.

As far as any other plans, I think GN'R fans know that it's not often good to speculate too much because plans change all the time with this band. I only like talking about things that are definite, and right now the only definite thing is Rio.

I'm not gonna do an album. It's a big investment of time, and I don't have time. It's the big ongoing battle in my life, finding time for everything and everyone. So I'm gonna take it a song-at-a-time, and release each digitally. I'd rather keep releases at a steady simmer than wait for a big pot to boil every few years, know what I mean? We have the technology to do it this way now, wanna give it a try...

This year I'm going to release a song at a time, singles. An album is more of an investment of time than I have with all the touring. A song at a time is manageable, it's the best way to get music out, and to keep it going. I'm not just putting out the songs though, I'm doing it differently. I'm releasing the song in a bunch of hi-res formats - WAV, FLAC, MP3 (320kps), M4A - I'll also be making the instrumental version of each song available. Then there's a 'Player Pack' for guitarists, it has a full transcription of all the lead guitar parts and soloing, with TAB, music notation, picking, fingers, and any other directions, and that comes with a WAV and MP3 of a Backing Track, it's a mix of the song minus the lead guitar so people can play along. I'm also releasing a 'Producer Pack' for the studio-minded, it's 24-bit WAV stems of the song - a stereo file each of drums, bass, rhythm guitar, lead guitar, lead vocals, and backing vocals so you can load it into your multi-track software and make your own mix, edits, or just solo the tracks and see what each sounds like on its own. I released the first song "Bernadette" in mid-January, it's a punky heavy cover of an old Motown song by the Four Tops.

It’s like having a testicular problem. You’ve got two balls and one of them of is humongous and you have to figure how to walk with that. It’s basically having one big ball and a bunch of other smaller balls, so walking becomes very difficult. It’s a challenge sometimes with how to budget time and be in multiple places at once without an army of clones. It’s not easy. When Guns needs me I’m there and when my time is free I run like the wind, haha.

[...] it's just a different way of doing things, I mean, it's becoming more popular where people are just... we have the technology to do it, we can just keep busting out songs and keep this constant simmer going where you always have music coming out, it's not like you put out a dozen songs, two years later another dozen, now you can just keep it going at a steady pace. [...] so what I did is I asked everybody on my forum, asked different people, said, "What do you want? How should I do this? What is good for you? Because it's about all of you, it's about how you are going to get the music, how you want the music." Uh, I got a lot of ideas and I found the best way to do it that would really give the people that follow what I do what they would like, is to put out the song in all the different in high res formats, to do a guitar transcription that has backing tracks so all the guitar players can play along with it and learn the song note for note, everything, and then I also put out all the the tracks themselves that you can get and load into your multitrack software so you can make your own mixes and do everything like that. So for every song instead of just taking a song and sticking it on iTunes you get all these different options that you can have but however you want the song. You can have a song, you can have instrumental to sing along with, you can have backing track so you could play guitar along with it, or you can load it all into your software and make your own mixes of it.

I wanted to do a full length album for a long time, but I really don’t have the time. I’m simply not around long enough at one place to build up some momentum and get everything recorded and focus on that. There are too many things going on and with all the traveling I do that doesn’t help either. I found that doing one song at a time was the best thing to keep the music flowing and it made me consistently stay active and it isn’t as overwhelming as doing a full length album. Luckily there is the technology available which enables me to do it this way.

I think they will [end up on an album]. A lot of people had said to me that they want these songs on an album, so I guess at some point I'll compile everything. With me, right now it all comes down to the investment of time. I have more passion than time right now. So I can't take on a whole album. Plus, with the GN'R schedule, I don't know when the fire alarm is going to go off and I'll have to throw on my suit and slide down the pole. [laughs] It's really hard to focus on making an album. I was able to do that in late 2007 when everybody was getting Chinese Democracy ready for release, but right now…I don't know. I don't want to spend nine months making an album, and it's a big deal for two weeks, and then everybody's going 'OK, where's the next album?'

Not gonna do an album, just gonna release a song at a time. With all the touring I can't devote a chunk of time to a whole album, I can't get the momentum going. But taking on one song when I can, that's doable. I released the first one “Bernadette” in mid-January, it's a cover of a Motown song by the Four Tops. The next one I release will be an original, called “Invisible”. I'm hoping I can get a video together for that song too.

This week I just put out the song “Bernadette”, which is cover song from an old Motown hit from 1967 by The Four Tops’. So I put that out in all of the high resolution formats: WAV, Apple Lossless, FLAC, MP3 HD, MP3 320 and AAC. I did an instrumental version and then I did things just for guitar players. It’s a backing track mix which comes with a complete transcription of the guitar parts of the song which is like 12 pages of all of the fingers, the picking, the tabs, musical notations and even little hints about how to do things. I also did something for studio geeks like myself which I would have loved to have for various albums and songs. I put out stems which are like a mix of just the drums, just the bass, just rhythm guitar, just lead guitar, just the vocals and just backing vocals. You can load it into your software and play with the mix. You can also edit and play with the levels to see how the song was made. I did that this week and every week is going to be something crazy. I’m going to get something done because now I’m here and I know that I’m not running on tour next week or anything so I have a chance to get shit done. I’m just going to do as much I can and try to get as much of my music out there until we hit the road again.

That's the thing - you love a song because it's a great song and it's perfect the way it is and you could never do it better. And for some reason that's what makes you want to do a cover of it. Because you love it that much but no matter what it'll be better. So you just try and treat like a dedication and do it your way not for the sake of being different but, "This is me doing a song I really love." [...] For that one I went back and dissected [everything]. I reversed the song so I could hear exactly what the reversed drums were doing then played them and reversed that so it would be correct. All of that, yeah. That one I really wanted to build it properly.

'Invisible', yes! Next song I'm puttin' out. When I get back from the GNR tour I'm going to take care of the final touches and release it. We're in Abu Dhabi this week, gettin' home before Christmas. Will keep everyone posted and updated...

The first one [of Bumblefoot's original songs originally intended for his new band in 2009] is a song called “Invisible”. It’s about 6 minutes long. It sounds like a band; it has drums, bass, one guitar and vocals. This stuff was made to be played live. When people hear it they say that it sounds like a mixture of Led Zeppelin and Pantera. So it should be interesting and I hope people like it. I would like to put out that song next. I just put out “Bernadette” and it’s just a song to put out there, but the next song that I really want to put out there is this song “Invisible”.

It's all down to just timing and juggling everything that I'm doing. I had put out "Abnormal" in 2008 and then Chinese Democracy came out after which I popped out a quick acoustic EP called "Barefoot", and then for two years I was away and couldn't really do too much. When I'm on the road I can never write. For me to write a song, I need to be able to step away from everything going on in music, just live the life and then write from that. So I have a hard time writing on the road and I get kind of burned out on all the music constantly. We finished at the end of December last year. All the words just started to flow and I was able to start banging out songs. This is one of the first ones that came about. Originally I had written the music in the mid 90s and that's why the song sounds grungy. It goes back that far, I just never did anything with it. Now, I just laid the drums and vocals and just popped it out. I didn't over-think it. Write a song and put it out, that's all I'm trying to do now. I do that every month and so far, I've been able to keep up with it.

[...]the art totally kicks ass. There's this guy in Australia, he's like my official artist now. I love his artwork so much, he's been doing all my stuff. He's phenomenal. So he did that art and we made a shirt of it. This time I went for full color digital printing so you get the full image and it's not just a cutout. So yeah, it's kickass art.

Yeah, there was a song, Father. Had a metal... a medal-ish...

This was a fun song to make!! Very happy Dennis [Leeflang; drums] and I had the music done and invited Mark to sing on it. I've always been a huge fan of his, from his band TT Quick I'd follow as a teenager to now as singer of Accept. While touring, he sent me ideas for lyrics, came to the studio while home for a few days between legs of the tour, hung out and blasted out killer vocals. Then, the song art... had an idea for a vintage movie poster vibe, and put a message on Facebook and Twitter inviting people to take photos for the song art. Photos started comin' in, and the winning pic jumped out.

So the song I did with Mark was called Cat Fight, by the way that one worked was I just did the music and I said, "Do whatever you want with the lyrics, just make the song yours in that way," and listening to what he came up with, the whole concept and everything, all the words, the melodies and all. And he came and just banged it out, like two takes, boom, and that was it.

Catfight, yeah, which is just like a fun sort of... almost had like a 80s-ish sort of thing to it. It's just a fun song.

That one, I know, Herman's did it first in 66 but Engelbert Humperdinck did a cover of it and that's the one that inspired the version I did, I get very kinda cheese lounge, I love old cheesy lounge s**t. So yeah that's what I went for is that vibe but just with a contrast, I love the contrast.

I loved '60s and '70s feelgood kind of music. Everything from Motown to lounge music. I think I just kind of run a pretty wide spectrum 'cause at the same time I love Manowar and I'm a huge Manowar fan. So it's like I'm a huge fan of Manowar and Englebert Humperdinck.

Ah well, I mean, if I wasn't on tour I would be doing one every month, and that was the plan to do every month to put out a song because I just can't take on an album right now. Like, I can't just say, "All right, I'm gonna take nine months and I gotta right now record and put it out and do the whole thing." It's much easier to just put out a steady stream of music, one song at a time and I find that with that I can do a lot of... what do you call, special, the added features that I wouldn't really be able to do if I had to do it for a whole album. It's just too much. So what I've been doing is, I would put out a song, either a cover or an original song, and we put it out in, you know, the usual, you know, mp3 or AAC but then also wave and flag and a higher-end uncompressed types of files and stuff. I do an instrumental version for people that want to sing- [...] People who can't stand my voice. This way they can just have the music and not hear me-

A lot of people did ask me about that and, you know, at first I wasn't thinking about it but give the people what they want,  if the people are saying, "Hey, we'd like to have an album of it," give them an album. So, that's something, that I was thinking about doing, is that maybe adding a few extra songs that warrant put out on that song a month thing and have a whole album of that. With the tour I don't know when I'll be able to do that, though.

I can have a few extras that I could put on there to make the album something special rather than just a disc of everything that people might already have.

But the one cool thing about what I've been doing with those individual songs, is I've been putting out a tablature that people can get where for every song- [...]  Yeah, I go through and make sure that it's, yeah, it's exact. So it has the picking, it has the fingers, it has the tablature, it has a musical notation and any other instructions that are needed. And then it comes with a backing track that has that guitar part missing. And then it has a booster track where it's pushed up so you could really hear, it's is like a sort of audio guide to everything. So that's for all the the guitar players that want to hear and want to figure out what I'm doing, that's all.

The last I put out was the Pink Panther theme [?]. So I did a version of that and I had all the guys from Guns N' Roses play on it. So I pretty much put out the only new Guns N' Roses music myself. [laughs]. It's missing Axl and Dizzy, so it's really new Guns N' Roses. Like Guns without Roses.

I love the old Pink Panther movies, Peter Sellers was fantastic! The song has a great vibe to it, it's been a fun song to play Smile I released the song last year at the end of the 2011 tour (www.bumblefoot.com/pinkpanther.htm), it has my GNR bandmates playing on it (I guess that makes it the only music released with current members of GNR... so far)

I never liked taking guitar solos. Ya wouldn't think so considering, but it's true. I always cared more about a song in its entirety, the musical aspect, I've never been comfortable with the 'attention' of standing on stage alone and noodling away. Maybe it's insecurity or lack of belief in myself, maybe it's obstinacy and an overly idealistic stance to my own detriment about the importance of a song, maybe it's just how I'm wired and I shouldn't psycho-analyze. Regardless, that's me. The 'song' is everything to me, I'm the anti-rockstar, I'd rather be heard than seen, I'm not about mystique or larger-than-life idol worship, although a good chunk of that philosophy goes out the window once I hit the stage and the switch is flicked. But ultimately I love music, making it, giving it, feeding souls, bringing smiles, it's that basic.

It was November 2009, Guns N' Roses was rehearsing at the LA Forum for the start of the next year(s) of touring, and we were to come up with our own solo spots for the show. Richard [Fortus] had his James Bond inspired spot, DJ [Ashba] had a song he made specifically called “Ballad Of Death” and I had nothing prepared, I had avoided it throughout the year, and was unwilling to bend on my anti-solo attitude. I'd spout off, “People didn't come here to see me screw around, they came to hear GNR songs...”, “I'll walk before doing something I don't believe in...” Methinks I doth protest too much. Perhaps I read too many YouTube comments.

Three days left of full-production rehearsals before we go home and our gear floats to Taipei for the start of the tour, and I give in. “Has anyone done a version of the Charlie Brown theme?” I ask. “Pretty much every kid in GIT [guitar school]” Fortus responds. “OK, how's about the Pink Panther?”  Nope, hasn't been done. “OK, Frank, gimme a 'tsss, ts, t-tsss, ts, t-tsss' on the cymbals, Tommy, go 'dammmm, dommmm, dummmm' on the octave 5th & root, Rich, gimme the...” (Rich was already playing the part before I finished the sentence), “Deej, hit the heavy 'duh-dah, duh dah!' and we quickly threw the song together. And that was my solo for the next two years of touring. And I enjoyed it! It was a *song*, and it was fun.

I'd finish 'November Rain', the lights would go down, I'd carefully climb around the piano and swerve through the oncoming flurry of crew rushing to move the piano off-stage, McBob [my tech] would be meeting me half-way with my Vigier fretted/fretless double-neck and thimble in hand [thimble goes over my picking hand 4th finger for tapping high notes on the string past the fretboard], I'd be removing the single-cutaway guitar and he'd be strapping the 30-pound behemoth over my neck, and I'd get to the front the stage as Axl would be announcing me in an ever-changing amusing fashion, “The one, the only...”, or some twist on my name, “Ron 'Thalshank Redemption'...”

And half the time I'd be taking a solo Axl would be telling jokes into the band's in-ear monitors that only we hear. He'd do that to us all from time to time. So, if you ever see us bursting into a random laugh, shaking our head as we play, or looking behind us toward the side of the stage in mid-solo, that's why.

“The Pink Panther Theme”, written by Henry Mancini – featuring my GNR bandmates Frank 'Thunderchucker' Ferrer on drums (recorded August 2011, while laying drum tracks for the debut album 'Rise Above' of an artist I produced 'Poc'), Tommy Stinson on bass, Richard Fortus & DJ Ashba on rhythm guitars and myself on lead (recorded September 2011 between rehearsals and the start of the 2011 tour of the Americas.)

I've said often, and said why it in a previous post - I won't address that stuff, rumors, business plans, none of it. You'll know other people's business when they decide it's time for you to know, in the way they want you to know. Frustrating for you, but makes perfect sense to the people who's life and business you want them to expose.

I WON'T discuss future plans. It's inconsiderate of everyone else - Axl, management, the band, everyone working on doing things right. I'm not just gonna blab about *their* business without consideration, it's wrong. I've had it done to me in the past and it pissed me the fuck off, felt like it was someone blabbed about a surprise party I spent a lot of time planning. And let's *respect* the fact that Axl started this band, it's his 25-year vision, I'm not gonna act like it's mine to do whatever I want and not consider a dozen folks that were there before me. It's about respect. AND it's about business - ya simply don't squeal about unfinished business, it's wrong to do. So while this thread touched on questioning morals, it would be *immoral* if I discuss things, it's wrong, it's thoughtless, inconsiderate, I won't do it. No 'gag order' or other made up shit, it's simply about having respect. I won't talk about business unless I get everyone's ok, or if it's something that was properly announced. But even then, I really don't want to. Making music = yes, GNR bizz = no.

[...] the reality is that the music is rock n' roll - everything else is business. You wouldn't have any albums or concerts or anything if the business didn't happen to bring you the music. A yogurt is food, but think of how much business goes into it before it reaches your mouth. Your job, to get the money to put gas in your car to go to the store and buy it. Car companies, fuel companies, the store, their distributor, the yogurt manufacturer, the farm that grew the berries, down to the dude that rigged up the cow pumps. All that business had to happen for you to get a $1 yogurt. Business is a necessity for all things, it's not evil, it's part of the process, every process. And in every aspect, there's competition of companies, timing when to release products, a million things that affect how successful or even sustainable things will be. Ya can't fuck with it, ya can't release info prematurely, ya can't give away what the new features of a software upgrade will be too soon, a competing company can hijack your plans. In music, you have to consider other releases and tours when planning your own, for example. There was the old story of how Van Halen was working on their first album, they mentioned covering Ya Really Got Me, and another band tried to record it quicker and beat em to the punch. When I was in my early 20s I shared a demo with another guitar player who then made an almost identical song to mine and sent it to the labels that were considering me to be on their comp CDs, to take my spot. Shit happens, I learned early on - don't talk about future plans, unless 1) you're the CEO of a business and don't have investors to answer to, 2) you're dealing with low-valued things that don't have a big effect on people and their business. I'll talk to you for hours about music. Not business.

OK, here's the deal with all the GNR rumors. Some trolls tried to get attention by starting rumors, as they had seen others get. I called a few out on it personally, smacked 'em down and their panties are still all bunched up over it, so they've been going to different GNR fansites, they create an account with an IP scrambler, post these fake stories, and then disappear. They're 1) trying to get me back for bruising their ego, 2) they're trying to mindfuck the *real* GNR fans and make them lose faith in the band and bandmembers they've gotten to know over the years, 3) they saw someone else get a lot of attention in a similar scenario recently, and want some attention themselves, from fans, and from me.

All they want to do is hurt the fans and the band. All the credible GNR fansites see it and have been deleting the silly posts by their own choice. Don't buy into it. Don't stand for it. And don't believe a WORD of it. If the people spreading this would like to come forward and show who they are, I'd be happy to bring them into a courtroom with a libel suit, and if they can prove their statements to be true I'll cover all costs and whatever else. But that wouldn't happen because every word of it is made up and that's why they don't stick around and remain in hiding.

To any news sites that spread the rumors without fact-checking, that'll post anything any sociopath makes up and give it a platform, you need to do better.

To sum it up, I have a life, you have a life, these particular trolls don't - they're just trying to tear us both down, because they're bitter.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." (Edmund Burke) Don't give these people power, and don't do nothing. Find out who they are, and hold them personally accountable for fucking with you and the band.

OK, back to making music, loving my band, my family, the fans, and looking forward to seeing you all as soon as possible. Smile

What have I learned? That there is no truth, only entertainment. If a lie is more entertaining than the truth, people will go with the lie.

SUV plowed into me full speed. Car is totalled, 2 other cars she smashed me into. Well enough to tweet, means I am not dead yet.

Thank you @Toyota for the functional seat belt, air bags & crumple zone, you saved my skull...

Some lady in an SUV was doing 50 mph up the road behind me and not paying attention. She drove into a line of cars stopped at a red light. I was in the back of the line, so she smashed me and the car in front of me, and she turned my car into an accordion.

Neck injury can do funny things to guitar playing... (Hold your ears on Saturday, ahh!!!)

Having a hard time. Brain rattled, have mild concussion - doc prescribed neck & brain MRI. [...]

I was brain damaged for about a month, I couldn’t speak right, I couldn’t raise my arms. I went to physical therapy.

One thing I ask.  Do not hug me.  Do not touch me.  My body isn't healing and hugging *hurts* now.   Let me make any moves.  Thanks.

Yes, be gentle with me.  I'm just a precious little petunia.

Car accident - busted stuff in my neck, constant pressure on spine, constant pain... should NOT be touring, but I am. Until I can't. And then I won't. Suck it. OK, back to packing........

There is not really time for sight seeing, because with the travel schedule you often definitely need a rest before you go to the next show, because we are doing a 2 1/2 hour show, I have a 30 pound double neck guitar running round with and I can’t afford to be tired.

I found that half a shot of Jägermeister before I go on stage and I am the happiest motherfucker in the world! (laughs). It took me 40 years to figure that out! Yes, Jägermeister, I call it my liquid smile. No matter how I feel, I take a shot of Jäger and I feel wonderful. It takes away all of the aches and pains. That’s another thing! Sometimes you’re on stage and if you have the flu or you are sick, you barely have the strength to stand up and I’m up there trying to run around for two and a half hours and sing and I have a 25 pound double neck guitar around my neck so I’m just praying that my heart will stop so that I can just drop dead and just end the agony (laughs). Or there are a lot of times, you know, where I am always banging my head around because I’m an old metal head so I’m doing that on stage and then the next day I can’t get out of bed because my back is all fucked up. On this last tour, there were a lot of spine injuries. Jäger helps that too! Jäger helps everything! They should get rid of all antibiotics, they should get rid of casts, they should get rid of hospitals and all kinds of medication and surgery and just give everybody Jägermeister! And everything will be fine. Wars will end. Everything will be cool. Domestic disputes will end in nice dinners. Yes Jägermeister! Or at least it does for me.

[...] now I'm on tour and instead of getting better I'm just making myself worse every night, so yeah. And it's just a struggle to get it through every fucking show and to, you know, sometimes it's a little easier, sometimes I can't even lift the guitar off my head.

This tour in particular has been the most difficult thing I’ve done in my fucking life. I was in a car accident a couple of months ago, and I fucked up my neck pretty bad, and it’s hard to have a guitar around my neck. And to be wearing a 30-pound, double-neck guitar while running around stage for three hours a night, it’s been really difficult, and I’ve had to resort to a combination of pills and booze and anything else I can get just to try and numb the pain.

Pretty numb so that's good, it's just a question of dealing with pain management and trying to find what works, whether it's pain killers, muscle relaxers or acupuncture or surgery or a combination of all different things or like deep tissue massage or I mean just anything or exercises and for me I found what works is whiskey so I just keep a constant simmer going with that and everything is ok and there's no mind bending pain that makes me want to just f**king stab myself in the face and I can be functional. So yeah, I just do that, I'm doing that right now infact.

I was heavily drugged to get through the tour (spine injury from recent car accident) and sometimes the combinations of drugs didn't work so well. After we left Paraguay I found out I was 'growling' at people in the airport, and had stopped breathing a few times on the plane.

No. I’m not recovering, and I probably never will. I’m just going to have to deal with it until I can’t deal with it anymore. That’s life. What are you going to do?

Just on Monday I was in the hospital and they injected medication into my spinal column.  Maybe in a few months I will feel the positive effects of it, but so far I don’t feel much better.  I don’t know. It’s very hard to live with.

Pain has become the center of my Universe, and everything else revolves around it.  It’s a whole new existence.  Pretty fuckin’ metal.

For a while I had some health issues and was wearing a long black priest-like coat and had black and red blood dripping down my eyes – the external often reflects the internal. You just express yourself without thinking too much about it, sometimes it’s understated and other times it’s bold.

I couldn't lift my arms and didn't know if I'd ever be able to wear a guitar again. So I started producing more, while going to physical therapy for months. I was not ready to start touring last year. It was the most difficult time in my life, I did whatever possible to get through shows, combining drugs and alcohol, to be well enough to play and numb enough to withstand the constant pain. It was brutal. This European tour is the first time since the accident that I'm on stage without poisoning myself to be physically able to. Before the tour began, I had steroids injected into my spine. Not fun. But I'm able to endure the pain and get through shows without drugs. It was a year of suffering like I never imagined, and it's not over. It almost killed me, for real. But it didn't, I'm a fighter. I'm fighting for what I love.

My life is governed by pain, and will be until it ends. Will be continued treatments and living cautiously, which doesn't really feel like living to me, but that's a compromise I'm supposed to accept according to everyone else. It's improving though – I can live without being on painkillers or continuously drunk, and after a year I can finally lie on my side. Pillows are like torture devices still, can't have them anywhere near my shoulders or neck, gotta lie completely flat. Majority of the brain damage is gone. I think? Haha. Grandma was right, health *is* most important.

Getting the last of pain meds & steroids out of my system, starting to feel sane again [...] 40 injections, a lot of tests, a lot of correcting damage from meds.... Worst is over, can see the sunny sky ahead [...] Will always be in some amount of pain but am working on finding 'peace' with it

It's a permanent spine injury that causes constant pain – the focus of my life is about trying to keep the pain minimized and living life around it.

Oh it's definitely better. I mean, it's something I'm always gonna have to deal with for the rest of my life, but I went to a doctor after the last touring, we had three months off, and I finally had a chance to take care of myself because I was just constantly being drugged up and injected and pilled up, just to keep me going. But each one was a temporary fix that led to other issues that weren't good so I had to just kind of clean up and clean out. So I went to, I guess you can call my "wellness doctor", and he went through all my blood and figured out which hormones were off, which vitamins were deficient, what I needed to do to, and came up with a very extreme plan for me. And it worked phenomenally and... you know, I've never been that type of guy that preaches about food and organic and this and grass-fed, you know, non-hormone and all that stuff, but I'll tell you, I'm converted because this change has been better than any medicine and I realized that either you can spend more money on doctors and medicine that doesn't work as well or you could spend a little bit less money on better quality food and it'll help your body more. And it made all the difference, And I would not have made it through this tour had I still been taking pain medicine to help with the pain instead of figuring out the right anti-inflammatory diet that works with my body.

At first I couldn’t raise my arms. It was three months of physical therapy. I have a permanent spine injury, it was painful to have a guitar around my neck. The double-neck is about 15kg. It’s been a long road to overcome the physical restrictions and the pain.

Well, after a year I had to go through a 112-day, very strict cleanse to get all the drugs and residue and everything out of my body. And I had to start reading, as part of that cleanse, a lot of books from Indian gurus, and Richard would actually recommend lots of books for me and all kinds of things to help. Just to get my mind in the right place, and to get past all that, to kinda get sane again. ‘Cause, I mean, when you torture yourself for a year - post traumatic stress is a real thing, and to have been completely disassociated and becoming very reckless and destructive - getting past that was a really tough time.

Um... With it is always good days and bad days. Like right now, my neck hurts, but you don't think about it. Now it's just more constantly annoying as opposed to mind-bending. But you learn to put mind over matter. You learn to just not even think about it. If we weren't talking about it, I wouldn't be thinking about it. And you just have to change your whole damn life. And make it work. Now, the only thing that keeps me functioning is food. A specific diet of things that I can eat and can't eat to keep inflammation down. And that change of diet is not what you'd expect. I would eat piles of steak and lose tons of weight from it - by not eating other things. A lot of blood work, balancing the hormones and vitamin deficiencies - through food. And it is the only thing that worked. Food did what medicine couldn't. And I realized that food is the best medicine. When you eat the right things for your body - and everybody's different, but when you do that - it'll make more of a difference than any medication could ever do. I never felt like that. To me, that was like hippie bullshit. You know, fuck that. Go eat a hamburger and go work out, and you're fine. But the funny thing is that by just changing what I eat, I lost 40 pounds and put on muscle without even exercising. It made my body healthier and stronger on its own. Just from food.

Doing good, yeah, the car thing, I think it that was three years ago already now. [...] Three years. As long as I eat right and watch how I move, I'm okay.

Apologies for f'ing up the Jungle solo tonight, I couldn't see through that stormtrooper helmet and was trying to get it off my head, haha!! [...] But at least I know I can still do this. (With help from Advil, whiskey & massage...) Thanks to ALL of you for tuning in, was an HONOR 2011.10.02 - Rock In Rio, Rio De Janeiro, Brazil 679352 [... ] #FUCKESTRANGED ! ! Nahhh, just kidding. SO happy to play that song for you all (while pretending I hated it for the last few months, haha!)[...] Thanks to Rua for letting me where the stormtrooper mask! Saw her in the front row with it, HAD to wear it!!

Playing in the rain at Rock In Rio 2011 as the stage was getting flooded, I put on a Star Wars helmet from the audience and it immediately fogged up and stuck to my face, I couldn't see and couldn't remove it...! Right as I had to play the solo! And of course it was televised, what a mess!

Playing in the rain at Rock In Rio 2011 as the stage was getting flooded, I put on a Star Wars helmet from the audience and it immediately fogged up and stuck to my face, I couldn't see and couldn't remove it...! Right as I had to play the solo! And of course it was televised, what a mess!

That was my first show back on the road after a car accident and I wasn't ready to tour. And I was just doing as much as I could as far as physical therapy, and it was helping that thing, but I got a 35 pound double neck guitar that I'm supposed to put on a broken neck for three hours, running around the stage while drugging myself up and killing myself up with whatever doctors are giving me to try and just get through it all. So Rock In Rio, around that time, like, between then and the next six months or more that we're on the road, my day before a show would consist of any variation and combination, and usually all at once, of Tramadol, flexural [?], steroids, 20 Advil - like a handful of 20 - like, they were amazing, that I didn't blow my organs up, and a bottle of Jagermeister. And still, you know, that would just barely help, you know.

So time to get on stage and in front of this huge wonderful audience, it's raining out so much the rain is getting higher than our pedal boards and they're sweeping the rain off the stage and it's just pouring, it's not stopping, and it's making pyro misfire and all this stuff. I mean, it was just a mess on that stage.

You know, back at the hotel there's so many of the Brazilian fans that we see all the time and everything. And they're friends. You can't even call them fans. At this point you seem them so much and you hang out and they're friends. One really cool girl she had this Star Wars helmet. Lou, sweetheart, hi Lou! And she had this always helmet and I remember I told her, I said, "Yeah, bring it to the show I'll put it on at the show." And so she did, she was at the front row. And so I got the helmet. And playing Welcome To The Jungle and me just being, you know, a bit of a mess but I was coherent. And put on the helmet and it was so wet and the skin was so pruned up and sticky and as soon as I put this helmet on it just went [making sucking noises], like, and it stuck to my face and I'm just like, "Oh shit!" And then as soon as I said, "Oh shit" my breath fogged it up and like, "I can't see and I can't get this thing off," like, "Fuck!" And it was like about time to take the solo, I'm like, "I could try and play this with this on, let me see if I can get this off with one hand and keep playing." So finally I got it like halfway up my head, it was so Spinal Tap, I'm just like nodding like, "Yeah!" it goes back down, "Fuck!".

So I'm trying to play the solo, which I've played a thousand times, I've played it right every time, I mean, you know, you know it, your qualified, you make sure you got it down, and you play. So I just had to stop in the middle of it, it was just such a mess and I couldn't see anything, and I had this thing on my head. So finally I just had to stop in the middle of the solo and take this helmet off and continue the solo. And I'm just laughing to myself, it's like I'm just thinking, "This is so Spinal Tap, this is mu life's Spinal Top moment, this is it." And played it through the rest of the show. By the next morning, hundreds of angry emails from Brazilians that I've destroyed their lives, I've destroyed the show, I've destroyed this, I need to be killed, I need to this, that. And to this day, every once in a while I still get one, "I can't believe you fucked up that song okay," over the helmet. That was my Spinal Tap moment.

[...]

It's just a song, it's one ten-second little flub in the middle of a show in the middle of a tour in the middle of a lifespan of being with a band. And I could laugh at it. Honestly, I don't feel bad about it at all. I honestly don't. Sorry, I don't.

The show's been really good, really good, except for Rock In Rio, that was a big mess. It was the first show we did [...] and there was about three inches of water on the stage and all our gear was shooting out, our guitars were crapping out, our gear was crapping out, pyro's misfiring. It was insane to try to play with so much rain that was just killing everything [...] Band's like: "No, why this one?" [...] of all shows, that's the one that is televised in front of 100,000 people. But what are you gonna do? That's the beauty of live shows, you don't know what's gonna happen [...] You can't fight the rain, you are gonna lose.

It just happens. A lot of times Axl might just say, hey, we’re doing this one. And then we say cool, and just nail it down. It might be something we already know, and it’s like hey, let’s start playing that. Or it might just be spontaneously, like A Whole Lotta Rosie. We just started playing that one last year, and it wasn’t planned, or anything. We either just sang a line, or I played the riff, and next thing you know we all knew the song, just because we know a lot of songs and stuff. And often things like that happen. Like the little jam before November Rain, that was spontaneous. A lot of the jams are spontaneous, and sometimes even the songs are. Estranged, that was something that I think Axl just wants to add to the setlist this tour.

You know what, it's become Estranged because for years everybody would just badger me on the Internet. They would badger me. [laughs] They would just badger me... Twitter, Facebook, it's like, "Play Estranged!" "Play Estranged!" "Play Estranged!" I had to start blocking people, they were just badgering me [laughs]. So finally we got to play it and the audience is really happy. It's, you know, it's whatever they like.

Paraguay is pretty f**king cool, gotta say.......... having a great time

What an amaaaaaaaaaaaazing audience in Paraguay, thank you all so much
Heading to the airport now, next stop Mexico City......

There's something exciting about playing places I've never been, especially where the band has never been. Had a great time in Paraguay, people were loving.   I was heavily drugged to get through the tour (spine injury from recent car accident) and sometimes the combinations of drugs didn't work so well. After we left Paraguay I found out I was 'growling' at people in the airport, and had stopped breathing a few times on the plane.

Longest GNR show ever - 3 hours, 37 minutes. Thanks sooo much to everyone in Taipei, Seoul, Osaka and Tokyo for making this tour kick ass!

The one in Japan where we just played, and played, and played? I would love to do that every fucking night. That was so cool. It started to happen in Osaka, where we ended up playing three hours and seventeen minutes. We have a list of songs that's sort of like a set list, but we just call them out. There's a little microphone on the stage that only we hear, and someone will go up to it - Tommy or Axl - and say "Hey, what do you wanna do next?". One of us will then just mention a song, and they'll say "Yeah, cool", and we'll go into that one. I remember I started playing the riff to "Whole Lotta Rosie" from AC/DC, because we're all huge AC/DC fans, and then Axl started singing. I thought "Oh, cool. We'll keep going", and we ended up playing the whole song, and then we did it again in Tokyo. That was just completely spontaneous, and it was the same thing when Tommy started playing "My Generation" - we all jumped in, and just played that song. One night, he said "Yeah, let's do "Sonic Reducer" from The Dead Boys". I said "Hell yeah", and we just busted that out (laughs).

[...] we were just playing and playing. When you're onstage, you forget how long you're there and it all becomes a blur. It could be a 4 hours and you know it for one hour or four. I'm used to be in rehearsal room playing for 10 hours. But yeah it was good. We just kept playing more songs. Axl would say "What do you feel like playing next?" and I'd played intro to "Whole Lotta Rosie" and we started doing that from AC/DC. "What do you feel like doing next?" So someone would say "Let's do this one off Chinese". We ended doing 13 out of 14 songs of Chinese Democracy. It's a lot of fun playing the Chinese songs for me. I have a double neck guitar with the fretted and fretless and I'm switching from one neck to the other one, while singing, so it definitely keeps my brain busy. If anything is harder for me is running on the stage, because I have a 30 pounds guitar. But yeah, it's very solid, strong musical show.

We're doing a good three hours set.

I mean there's people that would love for us to play for 20 hours, then there's a people that's like, "All right, this movie is getting too long, I got things to do and I got work tomorrow, and I also want to stand." When people go to a concert or whatever their entertainment choice is for the evening, if it reaches a time for them where they have to choose between it becoming a distraction or an intrusion on the next day of work and, look, nobody could afford to lose a day of work, doesn't matter who you are-

We went to Dallas to visit a children’s hospital. I took my guitar and one of the kids there had his guitar, so we jammed a little bit. It was cool.

I mean, you know, the funny thing about reviews is, like, you'll do a show that, you know, it was a pretty good show and then the next day someone [?] put out this fucking review where they're talking about how somebody looks 25 years after the fact or what time we went on and they just find the things to nitpick at and to just tear it down as if it's just become, you know, the thing to do. But, I mean, really, as long as 10,000 people or more, or whatever it is, as long as they go home happy, feeling like they got a good night and a good memory and something they really enjoyed, got their money's worth, got their ears' worth, everything, then a s[?], and one reviewer can say whatever he wants as long as everywhere we go there's 10,000 people that will say, "No, it was a great show," because it's about them. It's not about that one reviewer. It's about them.

And I did try and commit suicide on tour in 2011. Didn't work! (laughs) Obviously. [...] I'm not a drinker, but I tried to drink myself to death. Yeah. In the hotel room in New York. And, just... Didn't tell anybody that my goal was to die. I just drank as much as I could as fast as I could. I laid on the bed, crossed my legs, put my hands on my chest and waited to die. Just waiting for the alcohol poisoning to kick in. And to black out. Didn't quite work. And it was a very difficult week after that. And this is all ‘cause of that fucking car accident.

I mean, even after the car accident, I couldn't raise my arms. I had to re-learn how to move my whole body. I had to re-learn how to pick things up. How to sleep. How to walk, how to get out of a chair. I had to change every single thing. You have to relax this muscle, you have to pull your shoulders back and tuck your neck. I had to re-learn how to move - otherwise it just pops the wound again, and then you're in pain for a month. So, imagine that, and then putting on a 30-pound double-neck and trying to run around a stage for three hours. All I can say is that - and I say it all the time, when people say, “if you had one wish in life, what was it?” - it's that the woman drove faster. And finished the fucking job. If I had the choice, I would rather never have lived through that. [...] If I had one wish, it was that I had died in that accident. But, I didn't. And I'm here now. And that part of it is done. So now it's about making peace with the world, with yourself, accepting it and just doing what you can. You know, acknowledging that your time is short.

In 2011/2012 to get through touring with the spine injury from the car accident, there were experimental cocktails of alcohol, nerve blockers, pain pills, Advil, enough to kill a horse - fortunately no permanent damage from it. And luckily no addictive reactions.

All good for tonight Need drugs. Can't physically or mentally deal with the fucking pain & everyone trying to save me from myself.

I'm one conversation away from quitting this. Let's see if it happens.

Wow. Was gonna finally do it and the stuff I need is missing from my luggage. Guess I'll see y'all tomorrow......... #FuckYouGuardianAngel

Alone. Contemplating......