1987.11-12.DD - Music Connection - Tattooed Love Boys Take A Shot in the Dark (Axl, Slash, Duff, Izzy, Steven)

GUNS N' ROSES - Tattooed Love Boys Take a Shot In the Dark
By Katherine Turman

Interviewing Guns N' Roses is like being the substitute teacher at a kindergarten in hell. Or like a class entitled "What They Forgot to Teach You in Journalism School." I am now qualified to teach that course.

They forgot to teach you what to do when your interviewees are at a respectable record company and they're swigging Jack Daniels from the bottle and are trying to borrow money from you. They forgot to tell you what to do when all four of your interviewees want to ride home (to separate homes, with a pit stop at the liquor store) and talk about all sorts of provocative things—when the tape recorder isn't running.

Maybe they teach you all this stuff in graduate school.

In any case, the best way to approach Guns N' Roses is carefully. Their last MC cover story ended in a bit of mayhem and hard feelings, which they now dismiss.

With the well-deserved hell-raisin' reputation they've garnered, Guns N' Roses can't exactly be record company darlings. They tend to have the attention span of children, and, like children, they often have little remorse for their actions. They wreck vans, wreak havoc, ruin hotel rooms, and make great records.

Ah, there it is—great records. The oh-so-aptly titled Appetite for Destruction is a hard rock tour de force, full of evil rhythms, compelling vignettes, and soulful playing. It's sold over 200,000 records and taken them to #59 on the Billboard charts. Geffen's Marko Babineau, head of AOR promotion, believes the band's nasty rep has actually helped GNR sell—after all, only twelve stations in the country are playing the record. But on half those stations, GNR are heavily requested, and Babineau says the retail buzz is incredible. Though he admits he was ambivalent the first time he saw them, Babineau claims that the band "blew my socks off" in a recent show. The promotion exec is confident that he can take the record to top ten AOR status. "Within six months," he predicts, "this band will be headlining."

While it isn't generally known, there is a flip side to GNR; despite their hell-raising, these boys are far from stupid. And that dreaded four-letter word also applies to them; I'm talking NICE. Yup, these guys can be darned ordinary and nice—if they want to be. Guitarist Slash is cunning, street-smart, manipulative, and funny; singer W. Axl Rose has been intelligent, charming, funny, and (I think) honest in our several phone conversations; bassist Duff "Rose" McKagan is helpful and courteous; drummer Steve Adler is goofy and sweet; guitarist lzzy Stradlin seems preoccupied, but occasionally he chimes in intelligently.

Though Slash's dad was once a close business associate of David Geffen's, the connection had nothing to do with GNR's signing. Further, the band takes full responsibility for its actions, and the label has given the fearsome quintet priority status for a simple reason: Geffen is convinced that it's only a matter of time before Guns N' Roses scores a breakthrough.

Get Guns N' Roses together, add alcohol, and duck—an explosion is sure to follow. The following interviews were conducted the same week. The band was at Geffen's Sunset Boulevard offices; the conversation with vocalist W. Axl Rose took place via phone from New York.

PART 1: AXL ON THE LEVEL
W. Axl Rose, resting his voice and body prior to GNR's Ritz show, phones at exactly six p.m., nine his time.

MC: You're certainly prompt.

AXL: We have this new tour manager, and if you're not on time, you get shot in the head.

MC: How come your band's still alive? [Rose laughs] So what shows are you doing back East?

AXL: We're just doing this club thing for two-and-a-half weeks—New York, Boston, Philly.

MC: l heard rumors you might tour with Aerosmith.

AXL: That's been rumored for a year-and-a-half. We were possibly supposed to have done the Done With Mirrors tour, too. Basically, something just always comes up with them or us.

MC: How do you feel about the Aerosmith and Led Zeppelin comparisons you've gotten in your reviews?

AXL: I think that's good 'cause I like that stuff. It's in those veins, so that's okay with me. I mean Aerosmith and Zeppelin, that's pretty intense, and they're very emotional and blues-based outfits. Lately, we listen to Metallica all the time. It's cool, 'cause those guys listen to us all the time. They've gone to our record company trying to find us and get CDs. Then, right before we went on the tour, I had to go to Chicago on business and Lars [Ulrich] was trying to call me, and my girlfriend gave him the numbers of the rest of the band and they went out and got wasted together. We're trying to work something out. Whenever our next record's out they want us as their opening band. And they're determined—like we've either got to keep our record way up there or record another one; they'll hold theirs. We hope to do something, even if it's a couple of off shows.

MC: Do you think you have similar audiences?

AXL: Yeah. I remember playing the Troubadour when we used to open for speed metal bands, and we'd do the song "Don't Cry" that's on our demo tape—it's a slow ballad—and these kids with spikes all the way up their arms come up and go (in a deep voice), "Usually I don't like this kind of shit, but you guys are great; that one slow song is great" They like it 'cause of the realness. That's where Metallica is amazing—the sincerity. A lot of their stuff is more dark, getting out their anger, and we do that in our way, too.

MC: Will speed metal have an influence on the sound of your next record?

AXL: Oh, yeah. Before Slash knew who Metallica was, we still had some very heavy material backlogged. One reason we didn't put it on this record is that Slash and I didn't feel the band was in top ability to play all the material—at least at that time. Maybe now they can. But when we first got together as Guns N' Roses, no. Slash is not necessarily compromising what he's playing right now, 'cause that's complicated in its own way. Izzy has his own style of guitar playing, and we didn't want to say, "Oh, you can't play this, you're not in the band," 'cause what he was playing worked perfect for certain songs. So we figured we'd just take the time to progress.

MC: Are you and Slash the musical directors?

AXL: It's pretty much a democracy, but it's more... at least with a lot of the songs on this record ...You see, everybody writes; we write songs we'd never record....

MC: With even more swearing?

AXL: Wait 'till you hear "Cornshucker!"

MC: It could make a great video. Back to songwriting. Would you consider writing with anyone in Metallica?

AXL: It's really strange that you would ask that because I was telling Slash last night that there's a really good chance that if we get along, there could be some form of weird fusion, and I got this feeling there might be.

MC: Like your head on Lars' body?

AXL: No, like Gunica or Metalliarose. Or we'll have Metal Rose—yeah! Like I talked with Ian and Billy from the Cult and we were going to try to get together, but we didn't have time.

MC: Did you read the reviews of you and the Cult, or the reviews you got from your Long Beach show?

AXL: There was a weird vibe in the air that night. Like I read in "L.A. Dee Da" to the extent of us whimpering about how the Cult fucked us, and it wasn't like the Cult fucked us. But that show was the only show where the managers and everything decided, right before the show, to change all the passes—change all the laminates.

MC: What reason was given?

AXL: There wasn't really any reason given; it was just that this was Guns N' Roses territory and right now we were like big heroes. And it was more the management than the band. And it wasn't like fucking us, it was everything just got completely uncomfortable. It was a really weird aura. Even [the Cult) felt kind of weird.

MC: Did everything get back to normal at subsequent shows?

AXL: Yeah, like New Orleans [GNR's last show with the Cult] was completely radical. Ian was throwing shit at us onstage, and one guy came out sweeping the floor like a janitor right in the middle of our songs. Then they took Steve's whole drum set away while he was playing. Then we went into this song called "I Used to Love Her, But I Had to Kill Her," and the crowd went wild—it's a real catchy little thing. So when they came out us and our roadies, we all came out with towels and duct tape on our heads, like sheiks, and we went above their drums and did this stupid Egyptian dance and covered them with cottage cheese and cups of gook we made from all the deli trays—guacamole and shaving cream. And then Ian got Steve naked—because all he had on was his towel—and he carried him around. Then we left the stage. Then they had this little Stonehenge come down. And the roadies came down with big Joe Piscopo masks and danced around it.

MC: Did you give your pre-"Mr. Brownstone" rap at every show?

AXL: Yeah, pretty much. A lot of people seem to think we're condoning heroin. We did this show in Philly and people were throwing needles on the stage. I just said my little thing about how you have to be responsible to wake up in the morning. It's not planned. I always say it a little differently.

MC: Do you feel a responsibility toward your audience?

AXL: No, it's not so much that I feel a responsibility—it's that I show where I come from, and I'm not saying, "Go do heroin," so I feel it's a responsibility to myself to make myself clear. And also, that I do care about the audience. I've had it happen to me with Todd [Crew), and I don't need to see it happen to other people.

MC: His death didn't change your opinions on anything?

AXL: No, it didn't make me change my opinions, it just makes me be sometimes a little more careful. I get really freaked out about the Todd thing. We've tried to stop dedicating "Knocking On Heaven's Door" to Todd. If we get through the whole song, as soon it's over, one of us goes to the mic to dedicate it to Todd. We can't seem to break away from that. I'm told by a friend of mine that you won't get over it until it happens again. I heard it from someone who would know. I'd like to think that if people are gonna go do whatever after the show, maybe in the back of their heads if they're having fun and going, "Yeah, Guns N' Roses," they'll say "Maybe I won't do quite as much, 'cause tomorrow I have to..." whatever. You know.

MC: Well. Are you thinking about your future? What about your next record?

AXL: I was very happy with this one; the only thing I wasn't happy with was—not that I'm not happy with the mixes—but if we had five more days, I think we could have made it better. But the studio was booked, and we had a release date.

MC: Didn't Geffen worry about the swearing on the record?

AXL: No. When I recorded the record, they made sure I put the language in there. Last year, we recorded 27 songs when we first got signed. I do a version of "Heartbreak Hotel," and live I always sing "so fuckin' lonely." I went in to record it and I didn't cuss when I did it—I wasn't even thinking about it. After [Geffen] got the tapes, they called me up and said, "You gotta go back and do 'Heartbreak Hotel' again; put the 'fuck' back in." I heard this from Chappel Music, too, who have the rights to that or administers it.

MC: Does Geffen put up with a lot from you guys?

AXL: Yeah, but in a lot of respects, we're what they wanted and what they were looking for in a band. Tom [Zutaut] was looking for a balls-out rock & roll band, so they're jazzed to take us on.

MC: Are they happy when Slash crashes another van?

AXL: They're not happy, but we're the ones paying for it, so we're the ones most upset about it.

MC: You're not worried about burning bridges—never being allowed in a Holiday Inn again?

AXL: Usually by the time it gets to thrashing, it's not really in-fun thrashing—we're pissed about something. It might not be a hotel every time, but sometimes it is. Like this one place in England, they could not figure out how to tell me what was on the menu; they could not figure out how to put a phone call through. I was really nice, just like I'm talking with you. Finally, after bur or five strikes, I decided to call the other guys' rooms and see if they're having the same problems. Downstairs, though, they had shut off my phone. So I ripped my phone out and threw it into the lobby about 300 miles an hour.

MC: Is anyone in the band moderate? Or a peacekeeper?

AXL: We all are at times. Like Izzy—he's usually the one not to cause any trouble. But he got wasted at this place called Hammerjack's—the most fucked place I've ever played. They have 30 security guys who look like West Hollywood sheriffs. So Izzy got in arguments with them early in the day, and he got so drunk we had to tum his guitar down—and he threw it into the crowd. So then, right before we played—he's sick of everything—Izzy walked into the manager's office and just whipped it out and pissed all over the place. The guy's sitting there. It just blew their minds.

MC: I can't imagine Steven causing any trouble.

AXL: He threw his whole room out the window in Tucson!

MC: No, he's too nice for that.

AXL: We can all be that way—nice—but when we are wasted and disgusted with something. . . I'm really the only one who breaks things when he's not drunk. I just get real tense.

MC: You should take a masseuse on the road with you.

AXL: I'm looking for her; I give auditions all the time.

MC: In talking with your band, they all seem sick of L.A. How about you?

AXL: I want to move to New York—I want to explore again.

MC: How do you manage to drink and party so much and still put on a good show?

AXL: I don't I might run around and party, but I don't do a whole lot of drinking when I have shows—not that I don't want to, but it dries my throat out faster than most people's.

MC: Are you able to write on the road?

AXL: Yeah, but we already had a lot of stuff done before this album was done. We're going to record a double album; we don't know if we'll put it out. After the Motley Crue tour, we have to come back to L.A. to put some more stuff down, because we're going to put out an acoustic EP.

MC: Do you keep a close watch over your business/ record company affairs?

AXL: Yeah, and I watch how it's being done and everything.

MC: What if you don't like what's being done? Would you call Tom Zutaut?

AXL: Yeah, Tom and I have a very strong working relationship. I have this kind of relationship with Alan [Niven] too. I hang out with Zutaut a lot of places. The guy is so intelligent, it's pitiful. I'm also really learning about Billboard: I used to think that was close to legit, but people make phone calls and favors here, and this and that. God, it's amazing.

MC: Did your record get up there legitimately?

AXL: There's no way! But it has so far, from what I know. It's not way up there yet, but when it gets up to a certain place, it'll turn into a bidding thing. And if you don't, someone else is going to. I was just reading a Robert Christgau review on Faster Pussycat [in the Village Voice] but it wasn't about how great Faster Pussycat is—it's about how stupid Guns N' Roses is; how we should shoot ourselves.

MC: Do reviews ever make you reconsider what you're doing?

AXL: Well, what I like about people doing reviews of the record is, even if it's not their type of music, they should take the time to get into it. I think there's a lot of our record to explore. In every song, there are different little parts, and you don't see many people getting into that, so it kinda makes me go to someone who says they don't like our record: "Yeah, well, you like this [record], and I can show you on our record where there's something similar that I think you'd like if you would have listened to the fuckin' thing and done your job!" I mean, I'm trying to do my job as hard as I can-I want writers to do theirs.

MC: Do you think the material on your next record is going to be radically different?

AXL: There are going to be a lot more ballads, 'cause we have eight written and we believe in all of 'ern. I like to write real emotionally; I can dig way deep inside myself that way. There'll be songs like "November Rain," which will be like this seven-, eight-, ten-minute ballad with full acoustic guitars, full strings, and I'll be playing piano. And then there's "Don't Cry" and "Patience," an acoustic one; there's more.

MC: I'm about out of questions. Anything you want to add?

AXL: I want to thank all the bands, like Damn Yankees and Faster Pussycat. MC did interviews with four or five bands [July 27] on how they got signed; and every band except one mentioned us, and I thought that was the coolest thing.

MC: Are there any things you've had to compromise on?

AXL: My first Music Connection cover. (laughs)

MC: Well, Karen Burch [who wrote the piece] left town.

AXL: I talked to her not too long ago. She was fine for the first half-hour. Then, when she stopped breathing—I didn't know, so I put her in the elevator. Nah, I'm joking.

MC: Well, thanks.

AXL: It's been a blast.

PART 2: THE BOYS IN THE BAND

MC: Tell me about Europe, the first invasion.

SLASH: We played three dates at the Marquee and it was killer. The crowd was fuckin' insane. We were headlining.

DUFF: They were all sold out.

MC How are English audiences different?

SLASH: The thing that's cool is that—not to put these bands down—but Ratt and Motley Crue and a lot of these other L.A. bands do not go over well at all. It was really nice to be from L.A. and be totally accepted. When we played Hammersmith [on GNR's second tour of England], we did three encores.

DUFF: Then we came back and did the Cult tour all throughout Canada.

MC: You pulled out of the Y&T tour at the last moment. Why did you think the Cult tour would be better?

SLASH: Why do you think the Cult tour would be better? (laughter all around)

DUFF: We played big hockey rinks in Canada. We ended up the Cult tour in Louisiana. We were in Seattle, San Francisco, L.A., and San Antonio.

MC: Did people in Canada know who you were? I understand your first album cover was completely banned there.

DUFF: It depended, but you could definitely tell where [it was banned]. Like Nova Scotia.

MC: At your L.A. show, you were pretty dressed down, in contrast to your earlier glam image.

IZZY: It's probably from touring. You wash your clothes once a fuckin' month. You just wear what's the least dirty.

MC [to Duff]: Was going home to Seattle weird for you?

DUFF: It was hectic—the whole family was there.

MC: Did you ever get a lousy response?

SLASH: Yeah.

DUFF: Nah.

MC: Were the Cult intimidated by your success?

DUFF: No. They supported it 100 percent. Those guys are A-1. They were like, "Lets give them more PA and lights."

MC: What's the true story about when you lost power at the L.A. date?

SLASH: That's a fucking ugly rumor. We blew the PA out. We had it going at half power. "L.A. Dee Da" [in the L.A. Weekly] is fucked. All they've ever written about us is shit anyway.

MC: Why do you think that is?

SLASH: 'Cause we're not part of the cute little underground L.A. scene.

MC: You don't think you are?

SLASH: We're not part of the downtown art gallery thing.

MC: Do you think that negative press has hurt you?

SLASH: [his mouth full of Chinese take-out]: Shit like that really isn't cool, but it doesn't matter, 'cause who reads the LA. Weekly but those people?

MC: You must be excited about going out with Motley Crue.

SLASH: What's really cool is that Tom Zutaut is going out with us for the first week of the tour [which began in early November]. 'Cause he signed Motley Crue to Elektra. It's gonna be funny, 'cause we're gonna get in lots of trouble.

MC: How'd you land on that tour?

STEVE: Nikki [Sixx] called Slash up at the hotel and said, "Hey dude, what's happening? Wanna party?"

SLASH: No, that was before that.

MC: Are a lot of people coming out of the woodwork now that you're doing so well?

IZZY: Are we doing well?

MC: You're going to cover the States this tour? How long do you want to stay out on the road?

IZZY: Forever and ever and ever.

SLASH (mouth full of food again]: I have nothing to come back to this shithole for. Might as well stay in New York.

MC: Where would you rather be?

SLASH: A couple of us tried to extend our tickets so we could stay in Europe until we went to New York. But we couldn't because we had special rates.

MC: How big a crew do you have?

GNR: Three.

SLASH: Manny, Moe & Jack.

STEVE: We had the killer bus driver—he drove Elvis for eight years. We got the King of the Road busdriver.

MC: Did he tell you great stories?

GNR: Oh, yeah.

STEVE: I got a great story he told us. A truck-driver friend of picked nr. this longhaired hippie on the highway. And they're driving about ten, 15 minutes and his friend doesn't say anything. And the hippie looks over and says, "I bet you're wondering if I'm a boy or a girl, what with all this long hair and all." And the truck driver says, "It don't matter none—I'm gonna fuck you anyhow." [loud laughter]

MC: Any major disasters on the road?

SLASH: We caused disasters for other people. We broke up a lot of shit.

DUFF: Marriages.

SLASH: Hotels. I went to the accountant yesterday and she said, "Slash, I'm going to pay for your damages in Dallas, and you won't see any more money until February."

MC: Aren't you going to run out of hotels eventually? They won't ever have you back.

SLASH: They won't have any other bands back—we ruined it for everybody.

MC: Then does Alan (Niven, the band's manager) get a call?

SLASH: Yeah. Then he bitches at us and we get a new travel agent and we stay at a different hotel. It's better to get thrown out of bars and shit, 'cause they only last a year or two and there's a new one and they don't remember you.

MC: It never gets difficult to drink heavily every night and play the next day?

SLASH: Nuh-uh. We've got it down to an art form.

DUFF: There is a certain art form. You drink in the afternoon, you resort to coffee for about two hours, then you play the show and the roadies put out trays of beer.

MC: Did you do your video of "Welcome to the Jungle" while you were on the road?

SLASH: No, we did it before we left.

MC: Did you work out the video yourselves?

SLASH: Basically. It's live, intercut with concept. It doesn't make a big statement or nothing like that.

STEVE: They cut out my scene—that I wrote and starred in.

SLASH: It just so happened that the video is playing on different video stations around the country, and the places that they're playing the video, the record is selling like crazy, MTV are just dicks. (Since the time of this interview, GNR has done a walk-on spot on the "Headbangers' Ball" during which the bandmembers trashed an MTV set.)

MC: There's no swearing on that song?

SLASH: Hope. And nothing about God.

MC: Satan? l know there's a lot of four-letter words on Appetite for Destruction. Do radio stations hate you?

SLASH: No, not too much—they just don't play it.

DUFF: It's funny, though, to go into radio stations across the country and the DJs go, "Yeah, you guys are great." And I say, "You listened to the album, then, right?" And they go, "Yeah, I listened to the whole record—love it, love it!" Then I go, "Can I play a song?" And they go, "Yeah, yeah, play a song." So I put on "You're Fuckin' Crazy." And the guy's sitting there going "shit!"

SLASH: That happened to me a couple times. It's great when they're live [broadcasts] and they can't do shit about it. It would be even greater if they took it off halfway in the song. Actually, somehow—through our record company or our management—we never meet the guys who don't like us. It keeps us pleasant and cheerful.

MC: Do you usually do group interviews like this?

SLASH: Nah.

MC: You trust each other to do interview, alone?

SLASH: Yeah, I don't talk about how Steve's gay or nothing. [A long silence, then laughter, as Steve sits with a fake look of indignation on his face.]

DUFF: He didn't like that.

STEVE [faking anger]: My personal life is my own fucking deal, all right?

SLASH: It's a joke, it's a joke. Lighten up, all right?

MC: Back to life on the road. Have you written new tunes on tour?

SLASH: I find it impossible to write on the road. I don't have a guitar or nothing. The only time I can write is backstage before a show.

MC: Whose idea was it to cover Dylan's "Knocking On Heaven's Door?"

SLASH: See, I was just playing the chords—.

STEVE: I thought it was a new song; halfway through the song I realized what we were playing.

SLASH: It was on Axl's mind—and my mind, I guess—but I never wanted to play it 'cause too many people covered it. But one night Axl came over to this place I was staying and said, "Let's do it," and worked it out right then and there. We played it in London for the first time. What's ironic is, after Hammersmith—no, the next day—I went to a Bob Dylan party.

MC: Did you talk to him?

SLASH: I saw him but I didn't talk to him. It was a good party—I drank like five bottles of wine.

MC: I thought you did a new song at your Long Beach show.

GNR: Uh, no. "Knockin' On Heaven's Door?" "Nice Boys?"

MC: No, I know all those. Were you nervous about your homecoming show at Long Beach?

SLASH: It was nerve-racking to me in a sense.

STEVE: Actually, it was hell for me, too, but those were personal reasons.

SLASH: The night before we played, I went out with one of our roadies until like six in the morning, then we walked about eight blocks to get breakfast at Denny's, and on the way there, you could just see the [Long Beach Auditorium). And I remember like all the times I'd gone clown there scalping tickets and stuff. Five o'clock in the morning, getting sick and stuff, getting tickets for Aerosmith. And the times I've been there for AC/DC and stuff. And then all of a sudden, we're playing there. I just looked at the place and it's just sitting there. It was a trip .... Enough of that sensitive bullshit!

MC: Does Axl always do that introduction about not killing yourself with drugs, but not being anti-drug before "Mr. Brownstone?"

SLASH: In one form or another. He really just says, "Think for yourself." He tries to get that across, 'cause I can only imagine how many fuckin' punk kids don't really understand the words and think it advocates drug use.

STEVE: At our first gig in the U.K., a couple rigs tame flying onstage.

DUFF: Oh, man.

SLASH: But then there was this one English girl who thought the song was about groupies.

MC: Don't you feel some responsibility toward your audience?

SLASH: No. We're just telling them, "It's not our fault," and we told you it [the song] wasn't us. We're not gonna preach. You have to understand what the lyrics say if you're gonna take them that seriously.

MC: What about responsibility in general—your whole lifestyle?

SLASH: That's another interview.

MC: As kids, didn't you look up to bands and say, "I wanna be just like that?"

GNR: Oh, yeah.

SLASH: The thing is, with us, everyone wants to get on our cases because we're real honest and out in the open, while everyone else these days is getting in to MADD and RAD and anti this and anti that, and you can't fuck without a rubber. And we're not like that—we're just out in the open. Someone was asking me about MADD and the PMRC and stuff like that, but it's just like a bad kid in school—the more they tell you not to, the more you're going to do it. But at the same time, we don't tell anybody to do anything or to take us too seriously. Because we don't even take ourselves too seriously.

MC: Who watches over you on tour?

SLASH: Our road manager and Big Ron, King Kong Ron.

STEVE: Satan.

MC: What do they do if you get arrested in Europe?

SLASH: Arrested for what? Everything's legal in Amsterdam.

IZZY: Like the cabby said, "Speed limit? What speed limit—who cares? Prostitution—who cares? It's legal. Drugs—who cares? You can buy anything you want." It's the most degenerate place I've ever been.

SLASH: It's just one section of the city, you've gotta understand—like there's only one Hollywood Boulevard. Not all of Los Angeles is like Hollywood Boulevard. And let me tell you, you can almost put it down in figures, how many different sizes and shapes of women there are. In Amsterdam and in Germany, every single age, shape, and size. In every imaginable outfit—leather, corsets, lace. Some were heavy, some were thin.

MC: Uh-hum. Did you ever go to Japan?

DUFF: In Japan they say, "We make suck and fuck upstairs?"

IZZY: In Amsterdam, hey have fucking hash bars with menus of all the different types of hash.

SLASH: I walked into a hash bar looking for this character (gestures toward Steve) and the air was like paste.

MC: What would happen if they had those in Los Angeles?

SLASH: L.A.'s already about to sink into the sea. Next thing you know you got a bunch of stoned fuckers trying to carve it away.

MC: Do you keep track of your business affairs and how your record is doing?

SLASH: We just go, "Are we doing well?"

MC: Who do you ask?

SLASH: I just walk up to the average person on the street and go, "How's it doin'?"

DUFF: I went to 7-Eleven fuckin' Saturday at four in the morning and looked at Billboard. We were at #64.

MC: It's only been out about two months; are you surprised that it's doing so well?

DUFF: No.

SLASH: Yeah. I was surprised that it jumped out of the box as fast as it did.

DUFF: That's a record term—"jumping out of the box."

MC: Thanks.

DUFF: Slash, you said, "jumping out of the box" and "AOR" and all in a half hour.

SLASH: You know what a RIG is?

MC: I'm afraid to ask.

SLASH: "Huge Industry Giant."

MC: I bet someone will call their band HIG.

At this point, attention spans are worn out, the Jack Daniels is gone, the phone is ringing, Slash is talking with publicist Lori Earl (who is counting tattoos), and I'm ready to call it a day. ■

One of the magazines I bought ages ago but just haven't come round to scanning and transcribing. Hopefully I will have the motivation to do some more of them over the next weeks.