2006.10.16 - The Heights - Sellouts, What A Shame (Slash)

Sellouts, what a shame

By Pat Irish
The Heights, Chestnut Hill, Mass.

Last week, I saw a commercial for Volkswagen with former Guns N' Roses lead guitarist Slash. With his top hat and all, Slash blasted an electric guitar through the speaker systems of six Volkswagens, while the announcer muttered, "Get a Volkswagen and you'll receive a custom First Act guitar. Plug into the stereo and rock out just like Slash. ... If you're Slash."

"What a sellout," I instantly shouted.

But suddenly, I became perplexed as to why this was my immediate reaction.

Much like Socrates tried to define justice in Plato's Republic in order to analyze and understand humanity, I decided to take a similar path when trying to comprehend this notion of selling out and what the criteria of a "sellout" includes. Since this seemed like quite a task for one man to tackle, I decided to contact an expert on the issue.

"A sellout is an individual who tarnishes the dignity of his or her accomplishments and fame by doing something that gains this individual profit. Therefore, Slash is a sellout," I said.

"Yes, what you say has some validity," commented my old friend William Shatner, "but what if this individual's fame and accomplishments had no dignity to begin with? What if he was simply a 'one-hit wonder,' but continued pushing this role, appearing in commercials and Christmas specials for the sole purpose of feeding his ego and filling his wallet? Is this man not a sellout?"

"Touche, Shatner. Touche."

After some careful deliberation, once again, I came forward. "Then a sellout is an individual who had fame, either with or without dignity, but now uses his fame to market tasteless products and services. He appears in cheesy commercial and makes a profit."

"Who are you to say what is tasteless? Take Priceline.com for example. Would you agree that travelers should not pay full price for a flight or hotel room?"

"You make a good point, Shatner," I said. "Then consider this: the sellout is an individual with fame …"
"Why must this man be famous? Is the concept of 'selling out' limited to this one group of people?"

"I suppose not."

"Then," continued Shatner, "let us analyze all the participants in the making of this commercial and subject them all to our scrutiny. From the artists to those on the corporate level."

"Seems reasonable to me."

"They all share a desire to be creative," responded Shatner.

"I don't follow. Please, explain."

"When Slash played with Guns N' Roses, it was his artistic creativity that helped make the band popular and gave him great fame."

"What you say is true, Shatner."

"Furthermore, those in marketing were hired under the impression that they were creative and thus could create great commercials. Doing so would gain them money and 'fame' within the circle of their coworkers."

"True."

"Then I believe a sellout is a person who possessed something unique, such as creativity, which gained them something profitable, whether wealth, fame, etc. At some point in time, they lost this quality but longed to hold onto the profit it gained them. In an effort to do so, they sell out."

"Then, where does that leave us?"

"I do not believe Slash is a sellout," declared Shatner, "because he has recently shown great creativity with his band Velvet Revolver. In this particular instance, Slash is just very greedy."

"And those people in marketing who created this new campaign?"

"They sold out. Instead of making a unique marketing campaign for Volkswagen, they decided to sell cars by association. This demonstrates the lowest form of creativity. When someone tries to convey his ideas by associating it with a great artist or piece of work, then they are the scum of the artistic world. They are the ones who should be subjected to the choice of either banishment or drinking hemlock."

"Take it easy Shatner. Let's not get carried away."