2004.06.DD - FHM Magazine - Mexican Food with Velvet Revolver

Mexican Food with Velvet Revolver

Their livers obliterated, rock legends set out to destroy their bowels

Super Tacos Michoacan, North Hollywood, CA: Round 1: Corn chips

FHM: Before we get started, are any of you currently on the lam?

Duff McKagan, bass: No, not right now.

FHM: Phew. You guys must have made a fortune playing in Guns N' Roses and Stone Temple Pilots. Why are we eating at some low-rent taco stand?

Duff: We rehearse around the corner from here. This place is horrible. It'll kill you. Matt Sorum, drums Anything could happen. You could love it, or you could die.

FHM: Have you guys ever dusted your leathers with brown salsa?

Duff: I've shit my pants. I was at a music convention in Chicago and I was too drunk to give a fuck. I just went into the bathroom and wiped it off.

Slash, guitar: It wasn't so much of a stench.

Matt: I was in a limo once with this hot little stripper. I said to her, "Baby, I think I'm feeling sick:" Then it just came out like a scene from The Exorcist, out of my mouth and my ass at the same time. The stripper was so disgusted, she was sick too.

FHM: Did you still get to bang her?

Matt: Sure.

Round 2: Arguing in Mexican

FHM: What do you guys usually order here?

Slash: A taco, an enchilada and lots of pickled jalapenos. But my favorite tacos are the regular, cheap Taco Bell tacos.

Dave Kushner, guitar: Hard-shell tacos are a no-no. I'm Mexican; hard shell tacos are very American. They're for the weak.

Scott Weiland, singer: I prefer carnitas. Slow-pulled pork, roasted pork ones.

Matt: Good Mexican food is all about the corn tortilla. It's got to be done on the grill and it's got to be two layers. The meat either has to be a good carne asada or a good pollo. And no fucking cheese and shit on there.

Round 3: Quesadilla appetizers

FHM: The album's called Contraband. What's the biggest thing you've had wedged up your ass?

Duff: Probably my old lady's finger.

Slash: Synthetic heroin in the form of a suppository.

Scott: I put a couple of balloons of heroin and a crack pipe up my ass.

FHM: Why put a crack pipe up your ass?

Scott: Cocaine paranoia. I was in a suite at the Four Seasons in a city I won't name. I was convinced that secret agents were around; that kind of thing comes with the advanced stages of freebase smoking. I didn't want to get rid of the pipe, so I wrapped it in plastic and "keistered" it. That's the jail term for putting something up your ass.

FHM: What is a velvet revolver? Is it a cock?

Duff: It's whatever you might conjure up. But there are some bad band names out there. Pearl Jam is horrible. Nirvana? There was a Nirvana in every city. There was an Incubus everywhere. Led Zeppelin, Def Leppard: They're bad too.

Round 4: Tacos all around

FHM: Besides eating these tacos, what's the most dangerous thing you've ever done?

Duff: I've OD'ed. I've stood on the edge of Niagara Falls. My pancreas blew up because I was drinking a gallon of vodka a day. I could go on.

Matt: I hired a driver to take me into the jungles near Caracas, Venezuela, to score cocaine. He spoke no English but he had a handlebar mustache. Three days later, I woke up on the balcony of some hotel room I had no idea how I got to.

FHM: Dangerous. You should carry a butterfly knife.

Matt: I have one. Keith Richards is a butterfly-knife expert though.

FHM: Have you partied with the master?

Matt: Not with him, but in his vicinity. He mixed me a drink. It was nine parts vodka and one part cranberry. At the bar he was ordering two lack and gingers at a time. I said, "Keith, why order two drinks at once?" He said, "In case I spill one."

Round 5: Burritos for six

FHM: Slash, pass the salsa.

Slash: I partied at the White House when Clinton was in office. They had a New Year's party and I snuck in a case of Evian filled with vodka. The party was raging. It was interesting meeting his daughter while she was partying hard.

FHM: Does this whole band exist as a fuck you to Axl?

Duff: No. It's our statement.

FHM: What do you think about his botox-and-leather look?

Matt: I'm not feeling it. And I don't know what's going on with the hair.

FHM: How many albums will you release before Chinese Democracy comes out?

Matt: Probably three.

Round 6: Pollo and hats

FHM: How long can a man get away with wearing a hat and leather pants?

Dave: Forever. Look at Santa Claus. He's fat, he wears leather boots and he's got a hat.

FHM: Slash, where's your famous top hat?

Duff: He only pimps the old hat out for special occasions now. I was the first one to experiment with the top hat. Slash said, `Hey, can I try that on?' It's the perfect look for him and it keeps his hair out of his eyes.

FHM: Where do you buy those tiny belts for your hats?

Slash: The first one was a Concho belt I stole and cut with some scissors. Concho belts are these Western belts that go around things. Since then, I've only had two made.

FHM: Thanks for clearing that up.

Slash: Are these the things you think about? I hate to think people lie awake at night thinking about where I get the little belts to go around my hats.