Otherwise Savvy Woman Duped By Mascara Makers Again

DALLAS—Otherwise intelligent consumer Nancy Overton was once again deceived by the cosmetics industry Tuesday when she shelled out $20 for eye makeup that promised to give her lush, long, waterproof lashes. “Goddamn it!” a mascara-streaked Overton said as she threw another 0.8-ounce tube of Maybelline into the garbage. “I’m not an idiot. I have a law degree, for Christ’s sake. I know good and well it’s physically impossible for makeup to lengthen eyelashes, but every fucking time I see a commercial for a new mascara, I fall for it.” At press time, Overton was digging through the trash for the product’s directions to see if she was supposed to have shaken it first or perhaps let it dry between each coat.

For fucks sake *fpalm*

Haha, it's form The Onion, a spoof magazine. So it's satirical fiction, not real.

I missed the sarcasm, haha. Guess I was just in a lousy Monday mood.